Written May 21st, 1998 in the evening...
|
I've never considered myself a cool and social person, and neither has anybody else. It hasn't really bothered me at all, it's just a given fact. In high school I never drank, just did a few club activities, and then came home and did the whole babysitting scene. I didn't smoke or party or call many people up at night. It never fit into my schedule of cleaning, taking care of the home, and studying.
Even after I went off for my first semester of college, I didn't really know how to socialize. I was still very anti-drinking, and that was the key social agent at that school. I wasn't a boozer, and I suddenly lost interest in being a joiner. So there was limited socializing there too. I went out with a few friends and did have a bit of fun here and there, but I decided that Rockhurst was not the school for me. After Rockhurst I decided to do the Community College thing for a bit to sort out my head and decide what I really wanted out of life. I did really well grade-wise but was only making acquaintances here and there. Nobody I'd hang out with all the time or vice versa. I'm also in an apartment building now living by myself with the psycho kitty, Loki. He's keeping me sane, but I wanted more than just redundant meow's on a Friday night. Well, now I go out with my own little group. We all live here in the building. There's CeCe, Jay, Kristy and me... occasionally a guy (who seems to be terrified by my mere presence) named Ryan also tags along. We do the restaurant thing or sometimes just us girls go out. It's nice. We're all in our 20's, but since I'm only 20, they have to find crafty ways to sneak me into the bars. Or when we order at the pubs, I let someone else order before me to see if they're carding. Did I mention I'm drinking now? Well, not currently because of a bad incident that happened last Friday. I ate onion rings with my two Long Island Iced Teas and barfed all over my rug a few hours later. I can't even smell let alone look at onions without feeling the major urge to toss my cookies. It will be a while before I order another hard drink like that as well. But it's nice having a group to belong to... It's what I've wanted for a really long time, and before I relocate in the fall I can actually claim to have been a socialite. We're going swimming tonight, I think... |